Flipper in the Burn

Though it went unreported in the BBC’s official rescue narrative version of events (see below), Kerfuffle Press feels duty-bound to reveal the small part Hector and Hanlan played in Tuesday morning’s porpoise drama.
Their regular early morning stroll along the edge of the Grange burn was interrupted by the sight of someone stretching over the water and seemingly toying with a piece of floating bin bag like material. It was only on closer inspection that it turned out to be a floundering sea creature.
The porpoise carer had already called the authorities so there was little for our pair to do but discuss how long it could remain underwater, tidal movement in the Forth estuary, and the subject of humankind’s relationship with its aquatic cousins.
Hanlan suggested they had de-evolved as a species since Flipper appeared on TV in the mid-1960s. For those who took care to listen, Flipper’s eerie and irritating bleeps and squeaks often revealed valuable information which in turn could be handed over to law enforcement agencies. Why was this animal bobbing around in the middle of the burn when it could be telling everyone about the current activities of Grangemouth drug cartels?
When the polis finally did arrive, sans porpoise removal equipment, our pair bade farewell to the anti-Flipper and her protectors and popped off back home for breakfast.

`TREMENDOUS TEAM EFFORT' RESCUES STRANDED PORPOISE'

A female porpoise has been rescued by an animal welfare charity after becoming stranded in Grangemouth's Grange Burn.
The Scottish SPCA was alerted after a member of the public spotted the mammal.
The porpoise was transported about 12 miles to Blackness, where it was returned to deeper waters. The SSPCA said it believed that the porpoise had become disorientated and "caught out" by changing tides.
Animal rescue officer Bob Ward praised a "tremendous team effort" between his colleagues and the British Divers Marine Life Rescue.
He said: "We were alerted to a porpoise that became stranded in shallow waters in Grange Burn.
"The tide had already gone out so we laid wet towels on top of her and transported her to Blackness where we managed to get her into deeper water."